Awkward Things That Happen On A Daily Basis

Based on my own personal experience.

1. Making accidental, direct eye contact with a stranger on the bus, sometimes for too long.

2. Any conversation that dies too quickly. In an act of desperation, you attempt to fill the void with noises: humming, singing, or laughing. These aren’t effective because now you’ve:

a. Distanced the other person by entering your own fantasy world, and
b. Shown you feel uncomfortable with silence

3. Walking briskly, head held high, as if you own the world, and then noisily scuffing your feet on the sidewalk. Even if there are no witnesses, all confidence has embarrassingly withered within you.

4. Walking past strangers on the sidewalk, realizing you’re going wrong way, turning around, and walking by those same people ten seconds later. Yes, they noticed.

5. Holding a phone conversation for all to hear, and then losing the call. People notice the abrupt end, so sometimes you fake it.

6. Getting off the elevator on the wrong floor. It only takes five seconds for the doors to close, but that’s plenty of time for everyone to witness your laughable confusion.

7. Helping the cashier by bagging your own groceries, only to have the cashier take everything back out because you’re terrible at bagging.

8. Saying goodbye to somebody, and then realizing you’re headed the same direction. Is there even a point in trying to smooth it over? You’re just going to say goodbye again.

9. Bumping into an acquaintance at lunch and facing the awkward obligation to eat together. Neither of you want to, but the fear of offending each other is too strong.

10. Sprinting behind the bus to catch it before it pulls away, getting really close, and then failing in front of everybody who was nonchalantly waiting for the next one.

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