Worst Pick-Up Lines

1. “What kind of fans are on the ceiling?
It’s turns out they’re a specific brand called “Punkah,” which translates to “fan” in Hindi. Had we know that then, it may have been less awkward.

2. “Will you hold my e-joint?”
That’s a marijuana-filled electric cigarette. This guy was super drunk.

3. “Why does your hair have to be so amazing?”
Same guy.

4. “My friends don’t have anywhere to sit, can we stand near you?”
They proceeded to talk for forty minutes and would not leave!

5. “Which flavor are you getting?”
It was frozen yogurt, and he asked me three times.

6. “Want to go to another bar with me? Please! C’mon!”
Intoxicated and denied.

7. “I hope that helmet is for a bike, and not because you ride the short bus.”
I couldn’t tell if he was picking me up or putting me down.

8. “I like when you use my key.”
One of the creepiest things I’ve ever heard a co-worker say. I was borrowing the bathroom key.

9. “So… what are you doing after work?”
I was giving boat tours and he was a passenger. When I turned him down, he complained to the ticket office.

10. “What do you think of my new pants? My old ones tore in the crotch.”
He came back wearing the old pants on his head. The crotch holes lined up with his eyes. I’m pretty sure he was wasted.

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2 responses to “Worst Pick-Up Lines

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