Gretchen’s Diary #10: Mistranslation Guide

Often times, post-grads have a hard time adjusting to the world of full-time employment. It can be difficult to understand a vocabulary with which you’re unaccustomed. To help, I compiled a simple list of commonly misheard terms.

Employer Says: You Hear:
Competitive Salary Money
Benefits Package Superhero coverage and invincibility
Annual Christmas Party Phi Gamma Delta Greek Week Rager
Staff Meeting A scheduled chunk of time to be lazy and do nothing
Promotion More overtime
Demotion “If we could have fired you, we would have”
Company Outing Nine holes of golf and a bunch of ass-kissing
Party Planning Committee A congregation of neurotic women
Bonus The sound of a cash register opening
Pay Raise You don’t hear anything. You just picture yourself bumping at the club, iced out, drinking top shelf and getting laid at your penthouse suite.

*Be aware that what you hear may not always be accurate.


One response to “Gretchen’s Diary #10: Mistranslation Guide

  1. Great list…
    I’ll add a couple more: Editorial/Weekly review meeting = Stupid ideas around a mahogany round table.

    casual Fridays = I guess I’ll wear pants.

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