Often times, post-grads have a hard time adjusting to the world of full-time employment. It can be difficult to understand a vocabulary with which you’re unaccustomed. To help, I compiled a simple list of commonly misheard terms.
|Employer Says:||You Hear:|
|Benefits Package||Superhero coverage and invincibility|
|Annual Christmas Party||Phi Gamma Delta Greek Week Rager|
|Staff Meeting||A scheduled chunk of time to be lazy and do nothing|
|Demotion||“If we could have fired you, we would have”|
|Company Outing||Nine holes of golf and a bunch of ass-kissing|
|Party Planning Committee||A congregation of neurotic women|
|Bonus||The sound of a cash register opening|
|Pay Raise||You don’t hear anything. You just picture yourself bumping at the club, iced out, drinking top shelf and getting laid at your penthouse suite.|
*Be aware that what you hear may not always be accurate.