A Series of Quotes

A Lady Talking To Me:
“Thank God it’s Friday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I just had the craziest day. You know, sometimes people are just- ugh!”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Is there a full moon today? Full moons, you know. They make people act crazy.”

Two Women In The Elevator:
“I mean, what a f*cking douche, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I mean, he didn’t say anything. Not the whole way here. I didn’t get a ‘thanks that was fun’ or anything.”
“Why would he be like that?”
“Cause he’s a f*cking douche bag! And I just need to realize that.”

Awkward Compliments:
“You should immortalize your eyes.”
“It’s been a pleasure working with you” (Proceeds to kiss my hand)

Guy At A Bar:
“Is that a special helmet?”

Another Guy At The Bar Five Seconds Later:
“Do you always have to wear that helmet?”

A Joking Cop:
“I’m gonna tow your bike.”

A Truck Driver Shouting Out His Window As I Cycled Through Traffic:
“Girl, you must be crazy!”

A Friend After I Wrote Her A Poem At 9AM:
“You are the type of person who would write poems at any time of the day. Your artistic talent knows no time zone.”

Sandwich Shop Employee:
“Girl, you look like a piece of wheat bread.”
“If I were a celebrity, I’d want to be a singer named Cindy Sandwich.”
“If I didn’t have to work, I’d be at that party juking on some white girls.”
(About a bar’s bouncer) “He’s so big, he makes Cassie look like a gumdrop. He made me look like Pac Man. He’s so strong, he could grab the black off me.”

Building Employee:
“The wind is so strong, it blew my wig sideways!”
“My boyfriend’s texting me pictures of his white butt.”

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