The following is an e-mail.
We hit up the grocery store today.
I decided that noon is prime shopping time for crazy people.
For example, we were standing in the freezer section, deciding on coffee creamer, when I realized there were shoppers waiting behind us. I turned to this man (one of his eyes didn’t look straight) and asked “Sorry, did you need something?”
He said “Yes, do you have any Hazelnut?”
I was bundled in a wool coat, gloves, goggles and bicycle helmet, yet he somehow thought I was an employee. Like he hadn’t been standing there watching us deliberate for the last five minutes. But I was like, “Let’s see…”
I opened the door and grabbed the hazelnut creamer. And he shook his head and said “Delight. It’s gotta be Delight.” So I put it back and found it in the adjacent freezer and was like “There ya go!”
Not two minutes later, we were both getting edged out of the main aisle by some big lady on a shopping scooter that was seriously on a mission for groceries.
“Excuse me! Excuse me!” she kept saying. While yelling back to somebody “I’ll meet you on the other side!” Like, this is grocery shopping, lady. Not the Amazing Race!!
The best part: when [my co-worker] got in the checkout line, she accused him of putting bologna in her cart.
Seriously a great break from the work day.