Everything Is Breaking!

I feel as if the cosmic forces of the universe are laughing at me. As if my livelihood is now some puppet with which the fates can pull strings.

What I mean to say is, all my stuff is breaking.

First, it was my phone. You might have read about that.

Then, it was part after mechanical part on my bicycle, which has (bless its soul) been chugging its 1970 wheels through winter like an old warrior.

As if these bicycle parts weren’t enough, four of my jeans have ripped out from riding. Four pairs of jeans this winter!! My bike backpack is going downhill too. A few of the zipper’s teeth broke off and the hem unraveled.

Finally, I received the terribly sad news that Bikey (that’s my bicycle’s name) is unfit for riding. It’s not just that both gearing cables are broken. It’s not that he has only one brake. It goes beyond the loose handlebars, zip-tied seat and rusty fenders. No, the final straw was the wobbly steering caused by wheel spokes that are so loose they are beyond tightening.

In short, it’s too dangerous to ride.

I told the bicycle mechanic I use Bikey to deliver sandwiches, and he basically thought I was insane. I’m sure he also thought I was stupid and reckless, but he didn’t say that.

At any rate, I need a new bike. I could, theoretically, give Bikey an overhaul for roughly $400, but I might as well buy a new bike for that price.

After hearing the news, I wheeled Bikey home, mourning his death the whole way.

That wasn’t enough for fate, though. It couldn’t have been because when I sat my backpack down in my room, the entire closet door unhinged itself.

It wasn’t a quick fall. It wasn’t explosive. It was designed just like a slow, taunting stare. The folding door took it’s time, drawing out a long creaking sound the duration of the fall.

I’m sure if it could speak, the door would smile maliciously and say “What are you gonna do about it?”

That was really the icing on the cake.

UPDATE:

Rest assured, a week after this posting, everything is fixed!

I found a place that would overhaul Bikey for a third the cost of a new bike. Now he has lighter, alloy rims which perform better while braking. Also, I had the nice Asian lady at the next door cleaners patch my jeans.

We are back in business!

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